Not Thinking and Zero's Coronation Speech

R. C. wrote:
"We just gently come back to the Mantra -- that's all."

Ramon replies:
In meditation a level arrives where I can feel my heartbeat throughout my body. If I listening intently, my heart is saying " I AM," "I AM," "I AM"....

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Someone wrote on the AYP Forum list:
"I don't see contradiction in being devoted to practice with lots of bhakti yet approaching it all with the casual nothing-specialness of brushing my teeth."

Ramon replies:
Throw the mind something to not think about:
"Walk around the house not thinking of a fox."
This was Great-Aunt Emma's cure for hiccups when we lived with her when I was 8 years old.
I almost wrote "Walk around the fox not thinking of a house." Now there's a Zen version!

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Regarding Humor as the basic underlying emotion of all realities, I think this comment from the crazy wisdom master Adi Dah rings true:
from 'The Mood of Enlightenment,' an essay in "What Is Enlightenment," edited by John White that I recently finished reading:

"If you can temporarily manage to acquire a great deal of pleasure as this body-mind, you begin to think that pleasure itself is Enlightenment. As soon as you get a little physical or emotional or mental pleasure, right away you think that you are existing in the highest state that one can realize. But in true Enlightenment there is no struggle whatsoever for the continuation of the phenomena. There is no fundamental or binding effort to make phenomena continue. There simply are phenomena, these conventions of experience, but they are unnecessary. temporary, harmless modifications of Consciousness. That Consciousness, Realized in Enlightenment, is nor an independent person. It is without qualification; Transcendental. It is Enlightenment. The Enlightened individual is no longer fitted to the separate soul-consciousness, the individuated self struggling to survive as itself or to become something else. In Enlightenment, the motive to survival dissolves..."

Later down the same page:
"We are not present in our experiences. In other words, acting, or experiencing, is not a present activity. It has nothing to do with the present, the absolute Moment of Existence. It is the past. All experience is the past. There is nothing new, and there is nothing real about the mind that experiences. The mind is simply memory, past association..."

And on the next page:
"The seventh stage, the Enlightened stage, is not serious at all. In that stage we Realize our native Transcendence of everything. There is the tacit Realization that there is nothing serious whatsoever about experiential existence. It could end this moment, casually; and that cessation in itself would not have the slightest significance. Or it could continue for infinite eons of time through infinite permutations and transformations of experience, and its continuing would not have any significance either... Absolutely nothing is of serious consequence or of ultimate necessity - absolutely nothing." ?

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And on that seventh stage not-serious theme, I now leap ahead in time to April 2005, 2 and attach His DrOll Majesty Zero the Wunderweights's Speech UpOn His ElevatiOn tO King Of FOOls, Occidental CA:

Regarding SNIGGLES, SNARFS, SNARLS and the ZERO GREETING.

"HOW THE SMILE DOTH SNIGGLE SNARFS,"

Overheard beside the DrOll ThrOne.

Inasmuch as... mOreOver therefOre and...and furthermOre...hOwever... UnaccustOmed as we are (the ROyal We)...But! Since Otherwise it wOuld behOOf an unherd-Of amOunt Of sniggles -- YES! SNIGGLES! But mOre abOut that later.
SNARFS are abOut a lOt tOO, these days, and as my FIRST ROYAL DECREE, I -- We that is, being grumpily plural, hereby prOclaim "NO MORE SNARFS ALLOWED IN THE KINGDOM OF ACCIDENTAL -- er, BOXYRENTAL -- er, OCCIDENTAL! SNARFING must be replaced at all times by SMILING. SOme Of yOu may ask, "What is a SNARF?" Well, it is shOrthand -- an acrOnym if yOu please -- fOr "SASHAYING NERVOUSLY ABOUT with WRINKLED FOREHEADS."
SO then, sOme Of yOu may ask, "What is SMILE shOrt fOr?" We might say, if sO asked, that it stands fOr "SIMPLY MEANDERING IN LOVELY EUDAEMONY." But we wOuld nOt reply, because this wOuld lead tO the next questiOn, "What is EUDAEMONY?" And I -- we, that is -- me, ZerO, King Of FOOls, wOuld have tO explain that "EUDAEMONY" is Greek fOr "YOu the mOney" Or "Right On The MOney" Or in current slang, "Right ON!"
But if all that is just Greek tO yOu, just SMILE anyway. SMILING is BOtOx withOut paralysis -- are we all SMILING? GOOd!
We nOw will prOclaim and demOnstrate the "ZerO Greeting," which will nOw replace all Other fOrms Of greeting within the KingdOm Of ACCIDENTAL -- er, BOXYRENTAL -- er, OCCIDENTAL! Smile, stand On One fOOt -- preferably placed behind yOu in 'figure-skating pOsitiOn,' place right thumb tO nOse and wiggle all Other fingers.Then stick Out yOur tOngue. KnOwn traditiOnally as the "Nyah Nyah! Thumbing-the-Nose" gesture, we are by ROYAL DECREE naming it the "ZERO GREETING," alsO useful as a 'GOODBYE' ’Äì the Occidental veraiOn Of ALOHA, if yOu wish.Of cOurse if yOu ZERO GREET a NOn-Occidentalian, yOu can tell right away that they are nOt lOyal subjects -- Or perhaps nOt subjects at all but uninfOrmed visitOrs -- because they will SNARF at yOu -- that is, "sashay abOut nervOusly with wrinkled fOreheads." If that happens, it's a gOOd idea tO SNARL the SNARF away. It is the SNARL THAT SNIGGLES THE SNARFS! (In the appendix tO this prOclamatiOn, I attach hOw tO present a SNARL tO the SNARFER.) After which yOu might think abOut meandering quickly away.
SNIGGLE, by the way, is shOrthand fOr
SUMPTUOUSLY
NAVIGATE in
INNER
GORGEOUS
GIGGLING
LAUGHING
EUPHORIA
IN SUMMATION, my gOOd and drOll subjects, I repeat: "NO MORE SNARFS. SMILE -- that is, SIMPLY MEANDER IN LOVING EUDAEMONY, keeping the "ZERO GREETING" ready. Because when yOu ZerO Greet a SNARF successfully, it sniggles the snarf! And what dO we call a sniggled snarf? We wOuld have tO chant the sniggled snarf's sOcial security number tO find Out, because each is very much just whO they are, and everything abOut them is unique and spectacular! BenevOlently,
ZERO THE WUNDERWEIGHT, K.o.F (ahem!)

APPENDIX
The SNARL: SMILE, and then inhale a full throaty Snore via nostrils and mouth. Remaining motionless in the same SMILE, exhale by gargling a French 'R' out through the nose and mouth, tip of tongue vibrating the front palette behind the upper teeth ("THHHHHH").