Now THIS is my Real Favorite All-Time Exercise!

I know, I'm an enthusiast, but 'enthusiast' originally meant 'possessed by God,' so perhaps that's not such a bad thing after all. Although the purr-snarl-snore exercise is just terrific, and may well be the reason this new item works so well (because I've dissolved all lateral body tensions), this one really has the potential to make me writhe in ecstasy. And it's SILENT, so no one can complain, although just exactly how public you can get -- well, that aspect still has to be worked out. Anyway, here goes:

The Thwizzler or "How To Increase Your Bliss Tolerance To Its Limits"
By Ramón Sender Barayón

Back in the 1960s, a young hippie woman used to ask passers-by, "How much bliss can you tolerate?" Although at first this might seem an unanswerable question (how does one measure bliss tolerance – or even explain it?), it actually is quite profound. The ability to tolerate greater and greater amounts of rapturous energy flow is a necessary step for living at one's highest potential.

Life the way we live it, and especially the manner in which we tend to close down our energies as we grow up, tends to put our bliss tolerance ceiling at a woefully low level. I personally remember purposefully desensitizing myself to tickles because my older brother wielded enormous power over me by tickling me to the point of agony. Once I had turned off that particular sensitivity, he could no longer torment me, but at the cost of my losing a level of skin sensitivity.

What if there is an easy way available for anyone to enjoy ecstatic bliss states at will 24 hours, 7 days a week (at least when not asleep) without yoga or meditation or quaffing various fluids or inhaling various substances or downing various pills? The only criticism I have found for this approach is by the Buddha who stated that all sense-experiences by their nature are evanescent. But what if there really is an easy way to access a thrilling current of endless, rapturous heart-chakra outpourings — and I'm not talking 'better living through chemistry,' or using any add-ons of any kind. Well, except the Thwizzler. And if you're ever marooned on a desert island without it, I have a built-in replacement, but I'll save that for another essay. Hopefully by the time that ever happens, you will have been Twizzled to the point where you don't even need The Thwizzler any longer. Yes, Martha, the effects seems to be cumulative.

I suggest it is possible to raise one's bliss tolerance to a point of ecstatic flow via the tickling stimulation of the facial nerves. I know, you think 'over-simplistic,' but I've been using this approach now for over a year, and it's truly amazing. Finally in April, 2005, I developed a device made of (don't laugh) one chopstick, one polyethylene pipette, three swizzle sticks and two rubber bands that I've named 'The Thwizzler.'

Although I still remain relatively tickle-proof over major portions of my body, my face remains very sensitive to light touches, especially around the eyes, nostrils and mouth. Try touching these areas of your face very lightly, and see if you don't get a pleasant response. I think the reason for this facial sensitivity is to alert us to the approach of certain insects that might otherwise fly up our nose or into our eyes and mouth. The shudder, nose-wrinkle and subsequent nose-tweaks triggered by a fly touching our face I have named 'The Shoo-fly Reflex,' and what I suggest is that you learn, by using The Thwizzler, to coast very close to The Shoo-fly Reflex but not trigger it and go 'over the edge'. One thing that I find helps me tolerate greater amounts of this 'tickle bliss' is wiggling my big toes. Keep the big toe wiggle in mind as you begin to Thwizzle!

Currently, I'm in Thwizzler beta-test mode, and therefore happy to mail anyone who requests it their very own Thwizzler to try. If it turns out to be as ecstatic for you as I claim it is, I would request you mail me $5 to cover my expenses and thus allow me to expand the population of dedicated Thwizzlers. We are working on a sort of honor system, although I'm convinced that many folks will be so grateful to feel as ecstatic as I feel that they will happily contribute to the project.

WARNING!
You cannot walk or run with a Thwizzler in your mouth! Do not drive with a Thwizzler in your mouth! Only Thwizzle seated or lying down. This is an adult toy, and not recommended for young children.

Thwizzlers currently are available on a free trial basis within the continental USA and Canada. Go to the bottom of The Thwizzler page or contact the local representative Courtesy of The O-BE-ATA Project!