Mind The Gap - the movie and the message

My partner and I watched a film last night titled "Mind the Gap," currently on Showtime but I'm sure rentable. Here's the blurb:

Mind the Gap offers up a meditation on romance, fate, denial and acceptance with this award-winning ensemble comedy-drama. Alan King (in his final role), Jill Sobule, John Heard, Elizabeth Reaser, Charles Parnell and Schaeffer himself star as disparate citizens who must let go of the past in order to forge any possible future, and whose paths converge in Manhattan.

I found the eccentric characters well-drawn, lots of human feeling as well as humor, with a deep message about forgiveness. Okay, okay, I know people talk about forgiveness a lot, but mostly about forgiving others and/or oneself. What got me about this movie is that one of the men, about to blow his head off, is told he needs to ask forgiveness of his ex-wife and child. "Give her a chance to feel noble," he is told. "You have said to her you are sorry for what you did, but that's different from saying "Please forgive me."

I thought about this later, about how it applied to me. First I saw what a load of guilt my parents carried around, and how I imprinted their guilt feelings and set about creating situations in my life that 'made it REALLY my own guilt.' Not to say that this excused anything I did, or made it any less painful to those I hurt. Anyway, now I realize that asking forgiveness from those I have hurt over my lifetime is something I have not done. I may have apologized and said "I'm sorry," but it's not the same thing. It doesn't allow the other person to express their own innate compassion by forgiving me.

The interesting thing is that the moment I decided to ask forgiveness of people both living and dead, it opened up a door in my soul and a whole lot of light poured in. Painful memories that kept knocking on my door suddenly evaporated. Amazing how freeing this is!

Anyway, I understand now that it's not just about forgiving others and oneself, but also doing the harder thing: asking forgiveness from those whom you have caused pain, either intentionally or unintentionally. Makes sense?

See the movie!

Go get-um, cowperson!

From a reply to someone:
...A lot of what you wrote resonated with me. Often I wonder why I bother collecting scholarly books on mahamudra or other meditation techniques, although 'sifting the sand' occasionally I come upon a jewel -- such as a book I'm currently reading on a Sufi-based heartbeat-listening meditation that discusses the differences between the Hindu/Buddhist 'upward'-tending meditation paths (away from the body) and the Sufi 'downward'-tending into the heart. Inasmuch as a lot of what I'm experiencing has been in the heart area, I've found the book quite helpful.

As for how experiences dim with time and so forth, I think if we cling to past events, even grand and glorious openings into higher states, they just slow us down and out of the NOW. Yes? The same can even be true of Buddhism itself, where the study of ancient slats takes the place of direct experience. After all, didn't the Buddha himself say somewhere that his teaching was only good for 500 hundred years?

Speaking of ancient slats and gems:

"As a result of meditation, eventually realization arises. . . and as you sustain and cultivate such realization,you finally achieve the view of the fruition. At that point you are completely beyond any doubts or questions; your ascertainment is utterly complete. You are so absolutely confident in your realization that even if all the buddhas and bodhisattvas were to tell you that you are wrong, you would be totally unmoved."

"Naked Awareness: Practical Instructions on the Union of Mahamudra and Dzogchen" by Karma Chagmé, commentary by Gyatrul Rimpoche, translated by B. Alan Wallace

Another quote I ran across (excuse if I'm repeating myself) from "Buddhist Women On The Edge: Contemporary Perspectives from the Western Frontier: by Marianne Dresser, North Atlantic Books.

"There is a saying that 'the disciple must surpass the master." This recognizes that each person will express enlightenment in a unique way. There is an understanding that enlightenment must be embodied anew in each generation, adapted to changing contexts and expressed in new aesthetic and intellectual forms in response to the infinite needs of sentient beings." pps 11-12

Go get-um, cowperson!

Paramahamsa Swanee River

Someone sent me the following meditation hint:

Important! Try this method in the morning, not at night...

It turns out the synchronization between mind and body isn't as close as we might expect. The body doesn't know exactly when your mind has fallen asleep, and for survival reasons it would be dangerous for the body to go to sleep before the mind has.

So the body tests the mind to see if it's asleep. If you lie with a relaxed mind very still for about 25 minutes and are nicely relaxed, your body eventually will send a very strong signal to your mind saying "I'm uncomfortable, please shift your position in bed."

But this is just a ruse! The body is not really uncomfortable; it's just testing to see if it can get a response from the mind. If you ignore this signal, your body waits a few seconds and says "Hmm, the mind must have gone to sleep. Time for me to do the same."

At that point you will literally feel a wave of heaviness come over the body. This wave takes about 5 seconds to complete, and when it's done your body has fallen asleep. This wave is a very odd feeling and distinct - it's something you can't miss. Before you get the uncomfortable sensation, you may also feel a little dizzy as if there's a balloon in your upper body and head that's expanding against the inside of your skull and skin.

It's not very much pressure but it is there.
There will be no doubt that your body has gone to sleep...

So the trick is to lie still until out of nowhere you get a sudden and strong urge to shift your position. It will not be easy to resist it, the body will be somewhat adamant. But if you persist in your deception and fool the body into thinking your mind is asleep then it will follow, and then there you are in mind awake/body asleep!

Tips
* You'll have the best luck with this on somewhat less sleep than you usually get then do your attempt in the morning or during your afternoon REM cycle at about 2:00 or 3:00. The first time I got this to work I had only gotten about 3-4 hours of sleep the night before, maybe half my usual sleep time.

* Remain completely still, including your eyes.

* It's very easy for the mind the fall asleep doing this; you may benefit using a self-repeating timer as a safety net to keep your mind awake.

'Very easy for the mind to fall asleep' is an understatement. I'm very familiar with the 'wave' feeling, and always identify it as the overwhelming urge to drop off. For this reason it may be better to try this sitting up. Funny how we talk about 'falling asleep' and 'dropping off,' because the sensation for me is definitely one of falling off the 'edge' of consciousness.
I'm also convinced that the higher states of absorption in meditation ('jhana' states in Pali Buddhism) all have to do with the body 'falling' deeper and deeper into sleep while the mind remains alert and conscious. Alpha to delta to gamma waves - and now the EEG folks are talking about epsilon also... "wayyyy down upon the Swanee River..." Hm... 'swan' in Sanskrit is 'hamsa' that becomes part of the term 'paramahamsa' applied to those like Sri Ramakrishna who achieve the ultimate state. The Wikipedia defines the word as follows:

Paramahamsa, as a religio/theological title, is applied to an adept class of Hindu renunciates, liberated, realized masters who, having attained the supreme yogic state, or nirvakalpa samadhi, can always distinguish between the Real (sa) from the unreal (ham).

The hamsa mantra indicates the sound made by the exhalation ("ha") and inhalation ("sa") of the breath.

Also related to "Soham"("I am That") and in English "I AM," all excellent mantras.
My own simplistic approach to 'falling asleep while awake' is to
copy what my darling life partner does in deep sleep, and that's a gentle snore. I lie there copying her, although gradually drifting into longer breaths. I find after five or ten minutes that my ability to snore equally 'from the same place' on the in and out breaths sinks further into my chest, putting me into my heart region (instead of in my head).
As I type at this moment, I'm doing this, and once again for the zillionth time wonder why I ever STOP because it feels so amazing. I think the reason I stop is that I hit my 'bliss tolerance ceiling' and then tend to 'plateau' - or 'space out' laterally instead of continuing to push the ceiling higher. Does that make sense? As an explanation, yes. As an excuse for not achieving nirvakalpa samadhi this very instant... well, I'm fresh out of excuses!
(Singing) "Wayyyyy down upon the Paramahamsa Sooo-wah-neee River..."

Staying In The Flow While Awake

Blinking continues to 'swat' thoughts very well.
I've been changing my 'upon awakening' exercise to
200 'draws' of air between my tongue and upper teeth.
That sort of 'tst-tst-tst-'sound. It's less effort than
nursing on the uvula and seems to trigger the same
warm flow of energy from the heart area. I just love
finding the easiest ways possible to stay in that
deep-sleep 'flow' while awake.

Purring eight-to-the-bar!

Back for More?

I woke up this morning, did my two hundred uvula sucks, went up to
55 renas of bliss (I've named the bliss scale after she who coined
the phrase, "Who much bliss can you tolerate?"), stabilized at 50
during the cappucino ritual whilst singing an assortment of anthems
("Way Down Upon The Swannee River," "My Country 'Tis of Thee,"
"A Piece of Peace Apiece" to the 'Sheik of Araby' tune). Danced
with Riqui during the last one, which he always enjoys.

Then sat down to read my e-mail, whilst purring eight to the bar.
A nameless goddess recommends that I write up all my Harmless Exercises
in one slim volume and leave it on local coffee tables. I guess it could
include:
uvulizing, purring, snoring, flaring nostrils, breathing from the, er,
rear end, smiling with the chin muscle up, blinking to swat thoughts.

Actually I'm determined to spend all day today purring as much as
possible just to see if I can maximize my bliss tolerance forever and
make it up to the Nirvana plateau at 100 renas.

Beams and so forth,

If anyone wants the bliss tolerance scale chart, you can view it
at:
www.raysender.com/gowanchart.html
and also there is a recently constructed Buddhish jhana bliss
absorption graph at
www.raysender.com/jhanaschart.htm